Santa: yaar banta, sir ka msg aaya hai ki aaj extra class
hogi, kya karun?
. . Banta: "message sending failed" likh ke bhej de...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jab koi itna khas Ban jaye
Uske Bare Me sochna Ehsas Ban jaye
To Mang lena khuda se use zindgi bhar k liye,
Isse pehle ki uski MAA kisi aur ki SAAS Ban jaye.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When WORDS fail, eyes speak.
When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks.
When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 ldki prfum lga k bus pe chadi. Ldke ne coment pas kiya.
Aajkl phinel ka use kuch zyada h hota hai.
Ldki boli fir bhi cockroch picha nhi chorte
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl- kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho..?
Banta- haan
Girl- lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi
Banta- oye
pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
mportance of thumb- Child use it4sucking.
Illiterate people use it4sign,
Winners4victory & my FANS use it4reading
my sms Oh U too? Crazy Fan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bahu ke 1-2 afair sunkar
PATI ne jaan de di
3-4 afair sunkar SASUR ne jaan de di.
Lekin SAAS chup rahi kyu?
KYUKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kya apko ladkian pasand hai?
Kya aap ladkion ki baten sunna chahte hai?
Kya aap hmesha ladkio se ghire rehna chahte hai? . . .
To beta Golgappe ka thela laga lo.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tcher:Shadi Kya Hai?
Stdent:Kunwaro k Liye "Alpenlibe" Jee Lalchaye Raha Na Jaye:
Aur Shadisuda k Liye "Cloromint" Dubara Mat Puchna.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?
Sardar: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,
Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delivery k baad bachche ki mutthi band thi,
Muthi khol k dekha gaya to usme iPill ka tablet tha or hath me likha tha,
Jako rakhe saiya mar sake na koy
Ek ladki match dekhne gayi,
lips par india ke tirange ka rang laga tha,
ek ladka aaya kiss kar gaya or bola
I LOVE MY INDIA :D
Have a Nice Day
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar was working 1st time in a garment shop.
A customer girl asked:
Underwear dikhana plz.
Sardar thora sharmakar:
G aaj nahi pehni.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
rz Kiya He..
Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK Kar Diya
Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK KarDiya
.
.
.
Aaj uSi Ne Facebook Pe BLocK Kar Diya..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fulo ki hasi Gulab hai,
Padhne k liye jaruri kitab h,
Duniya me hr sawal ka javab h,
Agr koi mere bare me puche
to keh dena Arre wo toh LAJAVAB hai....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
80 saal ka Buddha rape case me jail gaya.
Dost:- Tune is umar me ye kiya kaise?
Buddhha:- Koi rape nahi kiya.
Ye to Ilzam itna mardana tha ki
mana kar nahi paya ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain,
Dil me har waqt ek aas rakhte hain,
Jaane kb ho jaaye mulaqaat aapse,
Isliye hm 1 DISPRIN hmesa apne saath rkhate hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name? Patient: Santa.
Nurse: Birthdate? Patient : 01 Feb
Nurse : Married?
Patient : No, car accident
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
.
I just knew it.
Bloody Lesbian!!
Love you too--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic k khade ho k auraton ko kyo ghurte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai,
Auraton ko dekhne ka Time 9-11am --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta:Kal Mujhe 10 logo ne Peeta
Santa:Phir tune kya kiya
Banta:Maine kha saalon Aik Aik karke ao
Santa:Phir
Banta:Phir kya Saalone Aik Aik karke dubaara peeta --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cricket game, IPL ki wajah se bahut improve ho gayi...
Hume b apna Exam system improve karne ke liye IPL ke steps lene honge...
1-Har paper 1.5 hr ka hona chahiye...
2-Har 30 Mins k bad DISCUSSION k liye break do...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tufani Barish May Raat Ko Shop per 1 Admi Pizza Lenay Aaya
Shopkeeper: Aap Shadi Shuda Hai
Admi: Is Tufani Barish May Kya Meri Maa Mujay Pizza Lene Bhejegi
Boy-hum 45 bhai behen hain..grl-kya..!! tumhare ghar popultion check karne wale nahi aaye the?
BOY-aaye the, hum padh rahe the wo coaching smajh kar chale gye.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Call Girl: Wanna have sex?
Santa: Haan, lekin tum meri
biwi ki tarah karogi toh
Call Girl: Vo kaise?
Santa: Free mein
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..
Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..Aadat se majboor ho tum jane kab mang lo udhar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patient to Nurse: ‘I Love You’
Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura
Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota ,
.
Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai
hai”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A girl comes late to class.
Teacher: Why a re you late ?
Girl: One boy was following me, sir.
Teacher: So, What ?
Girl: That boy was walking very slow.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa Aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
Socho ?
.
BOW BOW!
What else can a dog say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 boys on bike..
Police:- triple riding is banned aur
tum 4 baithe ho.....??
Boys shocked...
.
.
.
look behind..
.
.
and says:- saalo 5wa kaha gir
gya...??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Sher Ka Pinjra Khula Reh Jaae To Kya Ho Sakta Hai.?
.
Santa: Sir,
Very Simple Sher Chori Ho Sakta Hai..!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a woman loves you, you're a husband;
When a few women love you, you're a man;
When many women love you, you're a lover;
When hundreds of women love you, you're an idol;
When thousands of women love you, you're a leader;
When all the women in the world love you, you're not human but a gold, diamond, Rupee, Dollar, Euro, Yen...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aik Charsi Eyes Donate Kerne gaya,
After operation,
Dr. Asks:
Kuch kehna Chahte ho?
Charsi: Jisko bhi Aankhein Lagaao
Usey bata Dena K
Ye Do Kash laganay
k baad He Khulti Hain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don’t know how she got my no,
She interrupts whenever I call someone
and says “Please Recharge Your Card”
. . Banta: "message sending failed" likh ke bhej de...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jab koi itna khas Ban jaye
Uske Bare Me sochna Ehsas Ban jaye
To Mang lena khuda se use zindgi bhar k liye,
Isse pehle ki uski MAA kisi aur ki SAAS Ban jaye.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When WORDS fail, eyes speak.
When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks.
When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 ldki prfum lga k bus pe chadi. Ldke ne coment pas kiya.
Aajkl phinel ka use kuch zyada h hota hai.
Ldki boli fir bhi cockroch picha nhi chorte
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl- kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho..?
Banta- haan
Girl- lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi
Banta- oye
pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
mportance of thumb- Child use it4sucking.
Illiterate people use it4sign,
Winners4victory & my FANS use it4reading
my sms Oh U too? Crazy Fan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bahu ke 1-2 afair sunkar
PATI ne jaan de di
3-4 afair sunkar SASUR ne jaan de di.
Lekin SAAS chup rahi kyu?
KYUKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kya apko ladkian pasand hai?
Kya aap ladkion ki baten sunna chahte hai?
Kya aap hmesha ladkio se ghire rehna chahte hai? . . .
To beta Golgappe ka thela laga lo.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tcher:Shadi Kya Hai?
Stdent:Kunwaro k Liye "Alpenlibe" Jee Lalchaye Raha Na Jaye:
Aur Shadisuda k Liye "Cloromint" Dubara Mat Puchna.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?
Sardar: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,
Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delivery k baad bachche ki mutthi band thi,
Muthi khol k dekha gaya to usme iPill ka tablet tha or hath me likha tha,
Jako rakhe saiya mar sake na koy
Ek ladki match dekhne gayi,
lips par india ke tirange ka rang laga tha,
ek ladka aaya kiss kar gaya or bola
I LOVE MY INDIA :D
Have a Nice Day
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar was working 1st time in a garment shop.
A customer girl asked:
Underwear dikhana plz.
Sardar thora sharmakar:
G aaj nahi pehni.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
rz Kiya He..
Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK Kar Diya
Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK KarDiya
.
.
.
Aaj uSi Ne Facebook Pe BLocK Kar Diya..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fulo ki hasi Gulab hai,
Padhne k liye jaruri kitab h,
Duniya me hr sawal ka javab h,
Agr koi mere bare me puche
to keh dena Arre wo toh LAJAVAB hai....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
80 saal ka Buddha rape case me jail gaya.
Dost:- Tune is umar me ye kiya kaise?
Buddhha:- Koi rape nahi kiya.
Ye to Ilzam itna mardana tha ki
mana kar nahi paya ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain,
Dil me har waqt ek aas rakhte hain,
Jaane kb ho jaaye mulaqaat aapse,
Isliye hm 1 DISPRIN hmesa apne saath rkhate hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name? Patient: Santa.
Nurse: Birthdate? Patient : 01 Feb
Nurse : Married?
Patient : No, car accident
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dosto aur Popcorn ke beech me ek common similarity.
.
.
Dono ko thoda sa Jalao to Muh fula lete hai.
.
PASS IT TO ALL POPCORNS..
Scroll down if u love me,.
.
Dono ko thoda sa Jalao to Muh fula lete hai.
.
PASS IT TO ALL POPCORNS..
.
.
I just knew it.
Bloody Lesbian!!
Love you too--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic k khade ho k auraton ko kyo ghurte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai,
Auraton ko dekhne ka Time 9-11am --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta:Kal Mujhe 10 logo ne Peeta
Santa:Phir tune kya kiya
Banta:Maine kha saalon Aik Aik karke ao
Santa:Phir
Banta:Phir kya Saalone Aik Aik karke dubaara peeta --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cricket game, IPL ki wajah se bahut improve ho gayi...
Hume b apna Exam system improve karne ke liye IPL ke steps lene honge...
1-Har paper 1.5 hr ka hona chahiye...
2-Har 30 Mins k bad DISCUSSION k liye break do...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tufani Barish May Raat Ko Shop per 1 Admi Pizza Lenay Aaya
Shopkeeper: Aap Shadi Shuda Hai
Admi: Is Tufani Barish May Kya Meri Maa Mujay Pizza Lene Bhejegi
Boy-hum 45 bhai behen hain..grl-kya..!! tumhare ghar popultion check karne wale nahi aaye the?
BOY-aaye the, hum padh rahe the wo coaching smajh kar chale gye.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Call Girl: Wanna have sex?
Santa: Haan, lekin tum meri
biwi ki tarah karogi toh
Call Girl: Vo kaise?
Santa: Free mein
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..
Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..Aadat se majboor ho tum jane kab mang lo udhar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Patient to Nurse: ‘I Love You’
Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura
Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota ,
.
Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai
hai”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A girl comes late to class.
Teacher: Why a re you late ?
Girl: One boy was following me, sir.
Teacher: So, What ?
Girl: That boy was walking very slow.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa Aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar bought a new mobile.
He send message to everyone from his Cell
“My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 1110 Now it is nokia 6600?
What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool
nite with bright moon lite?He send message to everyone from his Cell
“My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 1110 Now it is nokia 6600?
.
Socho ?
.
BOW BOW!
What else can a dog say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 boys on bike..
Police:- triple riding is banned aur
tum 4 baithe ho.....??
Boys shocked...
.
.
.
look behind..
.
.
and says:- saalo 5wa kaha gir
gya...??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Sher Ka Pinjra Khula Reh Jaae To Kya Ho Sakta Hai.?
.
Santa: Sir,
Very Simple Sher Chori Ho Sakta Hai..!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a woman loves you, you're a husband;
When a few women love you, you're a man;
When many women love you, you're a lover;
When hundreds of women love you, you're an idol;
When thousands of women love you, you're a leader;
When all the women in the world love you, you're not human but a gold, diamond, Rupee, Dollar, Euro, Yen...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar.
Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car. Santa :
What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Banta : Dont worry, I have one more.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Banta : Dont worry, I have one more.
Aik Charsi Eyes Donate Kerne gaya,
After operation,
Dr. Asks:
Kuch kehna Chahte ho?
Charsi: Jisko bhi Aankhein Lagaao
Usey bata Dena K
Ye Do Kash laganay
k baad He Khulti Hain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don’t know how she got my no,
She interrupts whenever I call someone
and says “Please Recharge Your Card”