Purane Log Kehte Tha Sote Waqt,
Tension Me Nahi Sona Chahiye,
Aashcharya Ki Baat Hai Fir Bhi Log,
Biwi Ke Paas Kese So Jaate Hain…
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Ek Din Bijli Ki Dukaan Mein:
Do Fan Dena Ek Ladies Aur Ek Gents.
Dukaan Wala: Fans Mein Ladies Aur Gents Nahi Hota Yar!
Santa: Kyon Nahi Hota Ji
Ek Bajaj Ka De Aur Ek Usha Ka…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Raat ko kitab meri mujhe dekhty rhee…
neend mujhe apni orr khenchti rhee…
Neend ka jhonka mera mann moh gayaa…
Aur aik raat phir yeh genious bina parhe so gaya …..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunlo jaana tum hi ho ab meri life
Tujh ko chhod k naa koi banagi meri wife
Tu agar kabhi de dhokha
Jaan main apni doonga with a knife..!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
f boys vomit then parents says kaminey kaha kha kar aaya tha,
If girls vomit then parents says kaun tha woh kamina,
Moral of the story: Whoever vomits boys are always kaminey…
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ek chor amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Tijori pe likha tha “Tijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, tijori khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”
jate jate chor seth se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.
Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa ne kachha dho k
padosan ki shalvar k paas sukhne daal diya,
Aur awaz di Bhabi ji,
Jab tum salvar utarogi to mujhe awaz de dena
mai bhi kachha utar lunga.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor mere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye
Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??
Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: Kal raat um mujhey neend main gaaliyan day rahay thay?
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao,
usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 banda bhahta howa aata hay
aur Santa se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main
talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.
Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay:D:D
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta pair pey charha to upar baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka pair hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks,
'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dil main tum
dharkan me tum
Asman me tum
Zamen me tum
Ankhon me tum
Jahan dekho tum hi tum ho
Detlo wali aunty sach kehti hain
Jaraseem har jaga hotay hain
Dil ney dil say kuch kehna chor dia,
Ankhon nay ankhon say milna chor dia,
Lux Rs.25 ka kia howa,
Aap nay tu mo dhona hi chor dia..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reh reh kar mujh ko to bas ek hi khayal aata hai
.
.
.
.
reh reh kar mujh ko to bas ek hi khayal aata hai....
woh kambakht na jane kaunse sabun se nahata hai!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Main nay aap ko kal
khuwab main HOROON
k darmiyan daikha.
Main nay khuda say pocha,
Is ko kis naiki ki jaza mili hai.
Khuda nay farmaya:
is ko jaza nahin,
HOROON ko SAZA mili hay
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jab tum is duniya se jaoge,
Door kahin ek naya janam paoge,
Is baar jo hua bahut bura hua,
Agli baar tum ek lambi pooch
aur chaar taang paoge.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suno
Mehsoos karo
Badal ki garaj
Bijli ki chamak
Barish ki ek ek boond
Tumse
Cheekh cheekh ker kah rahi hai
?
?
?
?
"NAHA LO"
EID Bohut door hay------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Dear Kaha ho
Yar Pata Hai Kab Se Wait kar RAha Hoo
Jaldi Aoo Na Ache Se Tayar Ho Kar Aana
Dekho Hamesha Ki Tarah 1st Prize Tumhein Milna
Chahiye Aaj mera Yar Phir
Monkeys Fashion Show Jeete Ga .
.------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pyar na rahe to wafa kaun karega,
Dost na rahe to dosti kaun karega,
Khuda salamat rakhe tumhe varna,
bandar ki tarah uchal-kood kaun karega
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sine me dil,
Dil me dard,
Dard me yaqin,
Yaqin me khyal,
Khayal me khwab,
Khuwab me tasvir
Tasvir me sirf ap!
Itna Darawna khuwab?
Baap re Baap
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Attendence..
Pappu
Yes Sir
Bablu
Yes Sir
Tinku
Yes Sir
Ullu
??
Ullu
??
Ullu
Button dabana band kar,
teri baari hai,
attendence lagwa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Plz sirf 1 bar kehdo
sirf ek bar..
December ki wo yaden mujhe lota do,
wo bhegi bhegi ratain,
wo haseen lamhaat,
jub tum mere bilkul qareb aaker,
ankhon me ankhain dalkar,
jub tum ne..
kaha!
Aande lee loo, garam aande
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Congratulation!
Amir Khan Ne apni Film
K Second part k liay
ap ko Chun lia hai
Jiss Mai ap ka
Bohat Main Role Hai
Film Ka Name hai
Bayghairut zameen per
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dil se bolun ik bat main sachi.!
Hum Tum ik raftaar k panchi.!
Dosti ye hamari hogi na kabhi kuchi.!
Teri photo se to meri negative hi Achi.!:-)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ik larki thi deewani si
Mobile lay kay chalti thi
Nazren jukha kar, sharma kar
Mobile mein jane kya dekha karti thi
Jab bhi milti thi mujh se
Mujh se poocha karti thi
ON kaise hota hai?
yeh
ON kaise hota hai?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tension Me Nahi Sona Chahiye,
Aashcharya Ki Baat Hai Fir Bhi Log,
Biwi Ke Paas Kese So Jaate Hain…
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Ek Din Bijli Ki Dukaan Mein:
Do Fan Dena Ek Ladies Aur Ek Gents.
Dukaan Wala: Fans Mein Ladies Aur Gents Nahi Hota Yar!
Santa: Kyon Nahi Hota Ji
Ek Bajaj Ka De Aur Ek Usha Ka…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Raat ko kitab meri mujhe dekhty rhee…
neend mujhe apni orr khenchti rhee…
Neend ka jhonka mera mann moh gayaa…
Aur aik raat phir yeh genious bina parhe so gaya …..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunlo jaana tum hi ho ab meri life
Tujh ko chhod k naa koi banagi meri wife
Tu agar kabhi de dhokha
Jaan main apni doonga with a knife..!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
f boys vomit then parents says kaminey kaha kha kar aaya tha,
If girls vomit then parents says kaun tha woh kamina,
Moral of the story: Whoever vomits boys are always kaminey…
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ek chor amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Tijori pe likha tha “Tijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, tijori khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”
jate jate chor seth se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.
Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa ne kachha dho k
padosan ki shalvar k paas sukhne daal diya,
Aur awaz di Bhabi ji,
Jab tum salvar utarogi to mujhe awaz de dena
mai bhi kachha utar lunga.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor mere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye
Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??
Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: Kal raat um mujhey neend main gaaliyan day rahay thay?
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao,
usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 banda bhahta howa aata hay
aur Santa se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main
talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.
Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay:D:D
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta pair pey charha to upar baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka pair hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks,
'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dil main tum
dharkan me tum
Asman me tum
Zamen me tum
Ankhon me tum
Jahan dekho tum hi tum ho
Detlo wali aunty sach kehti hain
Jaraseem har jaga hotay hain
Dil ney dil say kuch kehna chor dia,
Ankhon nay ankhon say milna chor dia,
Lux Rs.25 ka kia howa,
Aap nay tu mo dhona hi chor dia..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reh reh kar mujh ko to bas ek hi khayal aata hai
.
.
.
.
reh reh kar mujh ko to bas ek hi khayal aata hai....
woh kambakht na jane kaunse sabun se nahata hai!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Main nay aap ko kal
khuwab main HOROON
k darmiyan daikha.
Main nay khuda say pocha,
Is ko kis naiki ki jaza mili hai.
Khuda nay farmaya:
is ko jaza nahin,
HOROON ko SAZA mili hay
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jab tum is duniya se jaoge,
Door kahin ek naya janam paoge,
Is baar jo hua bahut bura hua,
Agli baar tum ek lambi pooch
aur chaar taang paoge.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suno
Mehsoos karo
Badal ki garaj
Bijli ki chamak
Barish ki ek ek boond
Tumse
Cheekh cheekh ker kah rahi hai
?
?
?
?
"NAHA LO"
EID Bohut door hay------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Dear Kaha ho
Yar Pata Hai Kab Se Wait kar RAha Hoo
Jaldi Aoo Na Ache Se Tayar Ho Kar Aana
Dekho Hamesha Ki Tarah 1st Prize Tumhein Milna
Chahiye Aaj mera Yar Phir
Monkeys Fashion Show Jeete Ga .
.------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pyar na rahe to wafa kaun karega,
Dost na rahe to dosti kaun karega,
Khuda salamat rakhe tumhe varna,
bandar ki tarah uchal-kood kaun karega
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sine me dil,
Dil me dard,
Dard me yaqin,
Yaqin me khyal,
Khayal me khwab,
Khuwab me tasvir
Tasvir me sirf ap!
Itna Darawna khuwab?
Baap re Baap
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Attendence..
Pappu
Yes Sir
Bablu
Yes Sir
Tinku
Yes Sir
Ullu
??
Ullu
??
Ullu
Button dabana band kar,
teri baari hai,
attendence lagwa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Plz sirf 1 bar kehdo
sirf ek bar..
December ki wo yaden mujhe lota do,
wo bhegi bhegi ratain,
wo haseen lamhaat,
jub tum mere bilkul qareb aaker,
ankhon me ankhain dalkar,
jub tum ne..
kaha!
Aande lee loo, garam aande
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Congratulation!
Amir Khan Ne apni Film
K Second part k liay
ap ko Chun lia hai
Jiss Mai ap ka
Bohat Main Role Hai
Film Ka Name hai
Bayghairut zameen per
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dil se bolun ik bat main sachi.!
Hum Tum ik raftaar k panchi.!
Dosti ye hamari hogi na kabhi kuchi.!
Teri photo se to meri negative hi Achi.!:-)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ik larki thi deewani si
Mobile lay kay chalti thi
Nazren jukha kar, sharma kar
Mobile mein jane kya dekha karti thi
Jab bhi milti thi mujh se
Mujh se poocha karti thi
ON kaise hota hai?
yeh
ON kaise hota hai?
------------------------------------------------------------------------